Thoughts on Alcohol!!

Sometimes  when I reflect back on all the wine I drink  I  feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think  about  the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes  and  dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out  of  work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say  to  myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than  be selfish and worry about my liver." ~  Jack Handy

"I  feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they  wake  up in the morning, that's as good as they're  going  to feel all day. " ~Frank  Sinatra

"When  I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up  reading." ~  Henny Youngman

"24  hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?  I  think not." ~  Stephen Wright

"When  we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,  we  fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.  When  we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all  get  drunk and go to heaven!" ~  Brian O'Rourke

"Beer  is proof that God loves us and wants  us  to be happy." ~  Benjamin Franklin

"Without  question, the greatest invention in the  history  of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the  wheel  was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not  go nearly as well with pizza." ~  Dave Barry

To  some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a  can!~  Dave  Howell

And  saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff  Clavin,  of  Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the  Buffalo  Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's  how it went:

"Well  ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can  only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when  the  herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones  at  the back that are killed first This natural selection is  good  for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group  keeps improving by the  regular  killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only  operate as fast as the  slowest  brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we  know,  kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells  first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the  brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter  after a few beers."