So, how does one go about getting an EU Apple ID?

With iOS 17.4, Apple is making a number of huge changes to the way its mobile operating system works in order to comply with new regulations in the EU. One of them is an important product shift: for the first time, Apple is going to allow alternative browser engines to run on iOS — but only for users in the EU.

https://www.theverge.com/2024/1/25/24050478/apple-ios-17-4-browser-engines-eu

Apple deciding this is the feature to have regional phasing. Hilarious.